Chilliwack Forum
Chilliwack Forum
Dr. Rob Lees
Parental mental illness was the subject of a forum held in Chilliwack last week attended by about 110 people from various parts of the community. The audience heard several presentations, including greetings from Mayor Clint Hames and an opening drum song by Keith Point welcoming the group to traditional Stolo Territory. Mayor Hames reminded the group of the importance of building humane communities as a context for supporting all of us, but notably, people with disabilities.
Dr. Ken Hirst and I provided a brief refresher on mental illnesses. A main point here is to remember that mental illness is often simply an intensification and elongation of normal experience. Anyone can get anxious, sad, disorientated, have unusual thoughts or perceptions, be suspicious, or over-stimulated; it is when these experiences go on too long or are too intense, that they reach the point of being considered an illness. Because mental illnesses are often an interaction between our biology (brain chemistry), life experiences, cultural influences and immediate stressors, it’s thought that no one is really immune.
Prevalence studies of mental illness show that one in five people will have a mental illness in their lifetime and many others will be troubled by mental health issues that may not be described as an illness, but which nevertheless carry of burden of suffering. We were able to remind the audience that when one person suffers with mental illness, there are ripple effect that expand the burden of suffering. The loved ones, friends, workplace, communities of the person with mental illness are all affected.
Psychiatrist Dr .Betty Tang spoke on the impacts of mental illness on a parent’s ability to parent. People with mental illness have children at the same rate as those who don’t have mental illness. The illness may make it more difficult for the parent to respond to the task of parenting. Certainly, many fear that their illness will lead to criticism of their parenting and in some cases, even loss of custody. Unfortunately this is one of the reasons parents with mental illness avoid treatment. They fear if their illness is known, they may lose their children. Sadly, this is something of a self-fulfilling prophesy, where the untreated illness does interfere so much that at times, family and society must intervene for the benefit of the children. A study by the mental patients association in Vancouver found that 75 % of mothers’ with severe and persistent mental illness lost custody of their children by the time the children reached 16. This doesn’t have to be the case if people get treatment and the supports they need. In fact, parents can still play a role as parents even though they have mental illness, just like they can if they have cancer, MS, or diabetes.
UCFV Psychology professor, Dr. Trish Ackland , spoke about attachment theory, child development and how having a parent with mental illness might affect a child. Not all children with parents with mental illness will experience the same outcome. A central concern is whether the mental illness interferes with the parent’s ability to provide a context for the development of a secure attachment. Children who have parents with mental illness vary, but all need to understand what is going on in their family. There are a range of experiences and resources that contribute to children being resilient in the face of adversity. Much of this has to do with the complex interaction of temperament with environment. Certainly all children need trusted adults who are available to respond consistently to their needs.
Despite the erudition of the professionals presenting, it always seem to be the personal stories that capture that audience at this type of forum. A mother who has suffered with bipolar disorder and her husband spoke about their experience. What stood out for me was how this person and those around her have fully accepted her illness. If she becomes ill, they are tuned into the early warning signs. Her doctor has a care plan registered at the hospital so that no matter who is on call, they know how to help her. Her family know what they can do as well.
A 16 year old who has a father with schizophrenia described how she finally found out what the trouble was with her dad. She said at times she wishes there was a place she could talk with others her own age who had gone through something similar. This is a common experience of children with mentally ill parents. They know something isn’t right, but no one bothers to explain it. This is why we have a program in Chilliwack called Kids in Control. This group teaches kids about mental illness so they have facts, instead of fantasy. In fact, kids in the group named it Kids in Control because they felt this knowledge gave them back a sense of control in their lives.
A young woman named Amanda provided a heart wrenching story of growing up with a mentally ill mom who unfortunately, never sought treatment. Her parents separated and although she loved her mom, she had lived in fear of her mom’s rage. People outside the home, even her dad, didn’t know how bad it was. Finally she went to live with her dad but it wasn’t until she went to university and studied psychology that she realized what was happening in her family. Her mom likely had bipolar disorder. Her rages were symptoms of mania. Despite her mom’s terrifying “ill” behaviour, there were times when she was well enough to demonstrate her love. This made the picture all the more complex and confusing.
On behalf of the BC Schizophrenia Society, Mark Littlefield described Ulysses Agreements. Ulysses had ordered the men on his ship to tie him to the mast and ignore what he said when they went through a narrow passage. Ulysses knew in advance that he would be tempted to steer the ship towards the shore, beckoned by the Sirens. In a similar way, people with mental illness, who know the signs of their illness, can plan with those around them for how to help them and their families if they become ill.
Finally, under the leadership of Bob La Roy from Adult Mental Health Services, the whole group engaged in a planning exercise focussed on what we could do to improve services for families in Chilliwack where a parent has mental illness. Bob noted that this planning is meant “to have legs”. The ideas from the group were carefully gathered. Numerous participants signed up to help see some to fruition. Expect to hear more from them in the year to come.
Dr. Rob Lees is the Community Psychologist for the Ministry for Children and Family Development in Chilliwack.